My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
