I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
