Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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