Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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