there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
