I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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