spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
