It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
