She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
