Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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