Whod you bang
i don't like sucking hair
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
