can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
