Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
