yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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