There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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