No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
