I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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