Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
