you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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