does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
