If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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