I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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