Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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