Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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