is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
