Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
