We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
