his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
