I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
