We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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