he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
