Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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