Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
