every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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