I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
