I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
