my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Boobs are out for the taking
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
