you guys were way drunker than both of me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
