you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
being pregnant is like rehab
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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