Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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