just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
