you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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