I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
