**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
