I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
