no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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