I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
