Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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