Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm both gender and math confused
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
