scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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