What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
