we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
