no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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