i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
