i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
