Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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