how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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