Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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