Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm too high and old for this...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
