Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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