You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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