i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
