I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
