i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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